Fire v. Evil: The emo preview

By: Sean | May 23rd, 2008

So here it finally frickin’ is. A chance to snap a few (metaphorical and emotional! Ha! Haha! Heh. Eh…) tibias, a chance to show those febrile Dwellers in the Swamp that their man-parts are insufficient, etc. … and yet. And yet.

I hear rumblings that Wilman Conde is playing very well, and Lider Marmol will be on the field in red sooner rather than later. Osorio, meanwhile, is overseeing the Calf Strain All-Stars, a team so saddled with injury, ennui and expectation that all 11 players are signaling ā€˜sub! sub!’ after an hour.

There’s this moment in the movie Goal: The Dream Begins where the reserve team coach, as practical and direct a Scouser as you could imagine, instructs his young charges, ā€œAn’ wha’e’er y’do, don’t let ā€˜em panic ye into playin’ football.ā€ I imagine Osorio giving this speech, except in football code, and without the great acting performance – the best possible thing for Red Bull is that Chicago come out dancing in the red mist.

I don’t think it’s going to happen, at all. SeƱor Hamlett and his staff have been absolutely fantastic at preparing the team for the emotional stance of the opposition. Instead of being drawn into pointless machismo standoffs, I look for the Fire to exploit Red Bull’s lack of pace by making the ball do the work. Play futból, boys, and we’ll cane ā€˜em.



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